I Think I’m Done with Playboy


The Dude on the Right

Playboy sent me my renewal notice, and I hate to say it, but "Playboy, it might be time to leave you."  I can hear my buddy, Stu Gotz, bashing me already, he will say that my fiance wants me to get rid of it and that I am caving into her will, but the fact of the matter is that Playboy just isn’t that interesting of a magazine anymore.  Sure, it’s got naked women, and yes, they are pretty, but lately too many of the women are covering up so for that aspect it’s kind of like "What’s the point?", and I hate to say it, but I haven’t even been finding myself reading it for the articles that much anymore, because, well, the articles haven’t been all that enlightening, engaging, or groundbreaking. Also, as my budget is tighter than it used to be, what with a wedding to plan and all, I’m looking at the yearly renewal rate they are offering me and I’ve got to say that my $32.97 might be better spent elsewhere.

So I tried to analyze what I was getting for my $32.97, and I used their list of "benefits" I get as a guide. If I renew before December 17th I get the following:

  • Renewal discounted for another year at their absolute lowest price:        $32.97
    • Okay, this is nice, but I do wonder if it is their "absolute" lowest price, and if someone else out there is getting a better deal.
  • Preferred Subscriber Savings of 52% off the cover price:                        52%
    • Kind of a redundant with the renewal discount they described in the first benefit, but I guess it’s just to reinforce the fact that if I went to the newsstand every month it would cost me $68.89, but then again, one month is a double issue (nice cost-cutting measure for them, huh?).
  • Special Bonus: One-Time-Only-DVD – Playboy’s "Uncensored Home Videos" with your paid renewal        FREE
    • Come on Playboy, aren’t we up to the Blu-ray generation yet?  And really, I do read Playboy mostly for the articles, and Stu tells me there are much better "Uncensored Home Videos" out there on this thing called the internet.
  • Special Annual Issues: Playmate of the Year, Holiday Anniversay Issue, MLB, NBA, NFL Previews, Sex in the Cinema, Gala Christmas Issue:    Included
    • Umm, are these really special?  Haven’t you been doing these for years and aren’t these more "expected" than "special?"
  • Convenient home delivery:    Included
    • Okay, that’s nice, and it is pretty convenient.  I’m glad they aren’t thinking of billing me extra to deliver it at home.
  • Money-Back Guarantee:        Included
    • If I’m not completely satisfied with my subscription I can cancel at any time and receive a full refund on all unmailed issues.  What I would rather have, I think, is if I could maybe go online every month and say something like "I only liked 50% of this issue, can I get a credit on my account for the part that sucked, but keep sending me the magazine because I did like the 50%".

The crappy part, and maybe crappy is the appropriate word, is I used to be able to gauge how engaging an issue of Playboy was because, well, I admit that most of the time I would find myself reading it on the crapper while taking my daily constitutional, and if it was a good month of stuff, well, I would find that before I was done reading everything in said month there, thanks to the Convenient Home Delivery, would come the next month’s issue having me cramming in some final reading, or spending a few extra minutes on the Mighty Ferguson.  Lately, though, I’m finding that I’m pretty much done with the issue well before the next issue arrives, leaving me time to just sit and ponder rather than shit and wonder.

My problem now is what to replace the magazine with.  See, I already subscribe to Rolling Stone, Maxim, and somehow I get this Small Business Magazine, and they all pretty much keep me in tune with things in the entertainment world and high finance, although I do like a decent interview, and that’s what Playboy used to really give me.  While listening to the radio I was thinking GQ might be a nice replacement because I heard there was a great article with Clint Eastwood recently, but really, me and GQ?

So, I’ve got around $33.00 to spend, maybe on a magazine subscription, but then again, it would pay for like 1/5thish of a person at our wedding.  Any suggestions would be well appreciated.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!   L8R!!!