The Dude on the Right
I never knew that taking medication could be so complicated, yet after my latest visit to the doctor where she prescribed me some drugs, being the inquisitive person that I am, I read the full list of possible side effects (my BFF is now on the look-out if I turn gray, yellow, blue, green, or any other color than what my skin and teeth are right now) as well as the recommendations for when to take the little capsule. Herein lies my problem because until I’m done with this stuff, I’m supposed to take it twice a day, on an empty stomach, at least one hour before eating or two hours following eating. This might seem simple, but as my current diet plan had been working, and I like my breakfast right away in the morning and sharing some ice cream with my BFF while we watch The Biggest Loser at night, somehow this pill-taking time schedule doesn’t seem to work. Let’s do the math…
If I wake up at my normal time to get to my morning consulting gig, I have breakfast streaming down to my belly within 30 minutes of getting out of bed. So much for taking the pill right when I get up. Sure, I should probably get up and exercise first, but for now my walks during the day are doing the job. Now, to keep me from getting overly hungry during the morning hours and stop any desire for a 1/4 pounder, I’ve been in the habit of having a nice piece of healthy fruit or some vegetables when I get to the office, but that little piece of health just ruins the window of pill-taking opportunity because if I take the pill two hours after breakfast, I’ll be starving before lunch comes up because I won’t be able to have my piece of fruit, that and the fact that I really don’t want to bring my drugs to work.
So with morning shot for taking my pill, I’ve still got the same issue come afternoon where a tasty yogurt in the middle of the afternoon is a great way to curb that hunger for a couple of donuts on the drive home before dinner. No window of pill-popping opportunity there. And don’t get me started on the evening hours because, like I wrote earlier, ice cream, my BFF, and The Biggest Loser make for a great equation, but that means I won’t be able to go to sleep until at least two hours after the last drop of Moose Tracks have hit my gullet.
So when am I going to take these two pills? I don’t know. I suppose I could set my alarm to wake up at around midnight to take one pill, and then if I set another alarm at 3AM I can take the second pill, thus taking both pills on the prescribed empty stomach although I doubt I should take them that close together; I could skip the piece of fruit and the yogurt, but both of those little things have helped me greatly from going into craziness for lunch and getting a couple of donuts for my ride home; or, maybe I have to quit being so neurotic and just take the damn pills, twice a day, on a sort-of empty stomach. Sometimes I just make life complicated.