Eavesdropping in Millennium Park and Shirking My Duties!


The Dude on the Right

First off let me apologize for shirking my reviewer duties this weekend, but my
Saturday turned out much better than I read "Speed Racer" might be, and I really
didn’t care about seeing "What Stays in Vegas" today, especially since today was
a blustery, rainy day leaving some cleaning of The Dude-Pad actually a funner
option since all of the reviews I read about the Vegas movie were mixed as well. 
Stu Gotz, though, did see "Speed Racer" and promised to fill me in, and all of
rest of you, during our "Weekend Wrap-Up Podcast" tomorrow, and I guess I’ll
have to give Stu some insight into my happily blowing off the movies for a day
in the park and cleaning.

I suppose I should also fill Stu in with my latest

No, my obsession is not about my favorite sport’s team, it’s not
about soap operas, it’s not about searching for for information if Hillary has
any chance in hell of beating Barack, and it’s not even about internet porn. 
Nope, I am slowly becoming obsessed with eavesdropping on people in public
places.  It started the other day while I was hanging out in a Starbucks,
with like, so, this girl who was so, like in the business world who, like, just
liked to say "like" a lot, and "so" a lot, and I couldn’t help if maybe the
secret to advancement in the the corporate world, and maybe "The Hills" on MTV,
was simply commenting about things with "like" and "so."

then I spent some time in Millennium Park on Saturday, and I couldn’t help but
hear, while sitting on a bench, quips (with my initial thoughts)
like, so:

  • This is really a beautiful park area…
    Duh, it’s Millennium Park, finished after the millennium, but you really
    would be shocked to see what is actually under the park!
  • Maybe we should walk over to The Art Institute.  Which way is

    Doesn’t anyone actually use a map anymore?
  • Do you think those cigarettes are making us out of breath…
    Look, Mr. Skateboards, I know how you ripped your jeans, but do yourself
    a favor and Google "lung cancer."
  • We found "The Bean!"
    Hey, that’s "Cloud Gate" to you little skippy!
  • Are your parents in Morocco?  Have they come to visit?
    He had a huge accent, she seemed Midwest, I’m guessing he’ll never
    let his parents meet her.
  • A baby was screeching loudly
    Actually, there were quite a few babies in their strollers
    crying/screeching, which is what babies do, especially when they are being
    strolled through a park they will never remember and just want a bottle, or
    their diaper changed.
  • Now this I’ve never seen before…
    I wish I was actually looking at what this dude was seeing!
  • The last time I was down here it was cold and gray and generally
    What in the hell are you doing visiting Millennium Park in the
    summertime?  Oh, I’m guessing it might have actually been winter. 
  • The Sound of Breaking Twigs…
    A dude with a ratty backpack, maybe looking for some inspiration, sat
    at the other end of the bench I was on, breaking twigs.  Bruce
    Springsteen has a song called "Thundercrack" on his "Tracks" compilation,
    but I’m thinking "Twiggycrack" won’t have as much an impact.
  • This is a dead end.
    There’s a sort of fake sidewalk behind where I was sitting that
    people thought would lead them across Columbus Drive.  People, just
    take the "Snakey bridge"!
  • Something was said in Spanish…
    My Spanish isn’t what it used to be, actually it’s not even close to
    what it used to be other than "Hola," "Dos Cervezas," "Donde el banyo," and
    "No hablo espanol," or something like that but with all of the appropriate
    accent marks, but there were some tourists speaking foreign languages. 
    Welcome, Bonjour, Aloha, Hola, Kon-nichiwa, and any other way we can say
    "Hello" to our foreign visitors!
  • Daley Bicentennial Plaza
    She was tired, she just needed to sit down, and all she could read
    off of the sign was "Daley Bicentennial Plaza," which hopefully won’t
    someday read "The Children’s Museum that Should Have Just Stayed at Navy
  • Yes, we flew than we drove back with them…
    I wonder who are "them," and were they safe drivers?
  • You should see what is in his refrigerator now…
    What, human heads?  Maybe some Dijon mustard?  Is he all of
    the sudden a health nut stocking his refrigerator with fruits, vegetables,
    and vegetarian eggs, which I still wonder how eggs can ever be "vegetarian"
    no matter what they have been fed?

I know I shirked the fake, movie world this weekend, but sometimes
reality can become so much more interesting when you have to use your
imagination to finish some stories, especially when all you get is a
sentence or two.  For me this weekend with "one sentence" stories to
fill in, other stories about reality, and a few "No shit!" stories, was a
hell of a lot interesting than anything I could have seen on a big screen. 
It was a weekend where "life" was more exciting than "pretending about
life," and I liked it.

That’s it for this one! 
I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!