Dear American Idol, at Least Sally Struthers Sent Me a Picture of Who I Was Helping.


The Dude on the Right

"American Idol" gets all self-righteous this week because now they want you to
vote because your votes will click into donations to "Idol Gives Back."  We
get a bunch of "tear-jerking" of how things suck outside of the United States,
how things suck inside the United States, how, like those old Sally Struthers’
commercials, it only "costs less than $.50 a day to feed a child," and I hate to
sound soul-less, but Sanjaya is gone, I already have the charities I give my
money to, and don’t really care about any of the singers that are left, but
here’s my take on their performances anyway:

Chris: Sings "Change the
World" by Eric Clapton.  Did okay but the song is boring, except for this
being "charity" week so of course it fits.

Melinda: Sings "There Will
Come a Day" by Faith Hill.  I still think she has been losing weight (good
for her), now needs some slight dental work, but more importantly did a great
job with her singing, and performing.

Blake: Sings "Imagine" by John Lennon.  First thought – You
should never sing "Imagine" unless you are John Lennon.  Second thought –
You should never sing "Imagine" unless you are John Lennon.  Simon saw
sincerity in the performance.  He might have had sincerity, but Blake
didn’t seem to portray emotion.

LeKisha: Sings "I Believe" by
Fantasia.  Why do they keep "squishing" her into these dresses, especially
her bust-line?  She almost seems to be trying too hard in her singing.

Phil: Sings "The Change" by Garth Brooks.  Sticking with the country
side since he can this week, but man, I loved Garth’s version while am cringing
while Phil sings the song.  It must have sounded a hell of a lot better in
the studio than it did on TV because the judges seemed to have liked it.

Sings "You’ll Never Walk Alone."  I hate to say this, but as
inspirational as this song is supposed to sound, on my TV she didn’t sound
uplifting, but rather depressing.

I honestly have to say this might be my last
"American Idol" synopsis because I can’t take their "we are better than the
world" attitude anymore.  The reason for this comes from some of Ryan
Seacrest’s final lines in the show, namely "This might be the most important
call you’ll ever make." and "You are saving your favorite, and you are saving
lives."  I could vote to save a life, but is "American Idol" going to send
me a photo of the child I’m "feeding" in a far-off land?  I don’t think so.
I also don’t have a favorite so sadly it seems all of my 300 or some odd votes
that I cast for Sanjaya, while I was on the "Vote for Sanjaya" bandwagon and
hypnotized by The Howard Stern Movement, aren’t going to feed anyone.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!