The Eye

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:38 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

The Eye
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jessica Alba, Parker Posey
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Lions Gate Films
Release Date: 2008
Directed By: David Moreau, Xavier Palud

Jessica Alba is Sydney Wells. She’s blind. She gets an eye transplant, though not in the hope of seeing how hot she is, just wanting to be able to see. Wouldn’t you know it, Sydney isn’t just able to see our world, but now she can see things in a the spirit world, and as hard as it to adjust seeing how ugly her friends are (kidding), now she has to contend with the afterlife and scary things that freak her out. Can Sydney figure out who she got her eyes from in the hopes of saving her sanity, or at least save her from gauging her eyes out? Me, I’m thinking Sydney would be hot, even without any eyes, because, quite honestly, I’m not looking at them and my only shot at her would probably be if she couldn’t see.

The movie is a remake of an Asian film, “Jian Gui,” and it’s rated PG-13, so here’s probably another one good for the teens.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eragon

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:44 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Eragon
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Edward Speleers, Sienna Guillory, Garrett Hedlund, Djimon Hounsou, Jeremy Irons, John Malkovich, Robert Carlyle
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2006
Directed By: Stefen Fangmeier

These are rough times for the peasants and farm folk of this mythical time looking like old times in Europe, and many of the children are told of times when dragons helped the good folk control evil. Then Eragon (Ed Speleers) finds what looks like a jewel, only to find out it is a dragon’s egg, and no he knows that his destiny is one to bring goodness back to the land, with the help of the dragon, in taking out the king.

Sure, the movie looks some like “The Lord of the Rings,” and it’s based on a novel of the same name, but maybe “Lord of the Rings” has just gotten me all pooped-out of mythical movies where things like dragons lived.

The trailer does look cool, but I’m still taking a wait-and-see attitude on this movie until I hear some better things about it.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Enemy at the Gates

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:11 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Enemy at the Gates
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jude Law, Ed Harris, Joseph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 2001
Directed By: Jean-Jacques Annaud

My only hope is that this movie doesn’t try to get too artsy. The basics of the story is about two snipers, Jude Law and Ed Harris. One is confident the other is kinda scared. One is set on his job the other is falling in love. The trailers show a good drama, some lovey-dovey stuff, and some quality war stuff to there is a lot of potential, but, well, the movie is looking to cinematographic so I’ll probably go see it although still be a little hesitant.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eight Below

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 2:00 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Eight Below
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Paul Walker, Bruce Greenwood, and the pie…, I mean, Jason Biggs
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Disney Pictures
Release Date: 2006

Here’s a feel good movie for everyone, probably, especially, dog lovers. You get some scientist dudes hanging out in Antarctica, doing their scientist things, when the best way to get somewhere is by sled dogs. They get there, do there exploring, but than an accident happens and people are hurt. The rescue teams come, but there isn’t any room for the dogs, so, yea, the dogs are left to fend for themselves. Then the bad weather comes, and the dogs are really stranded. The movie tells the story of the dog’s survival and those that love them trying to get back to the Antarctic to save them.

It’s a feel good story, really can’t go wrong to make things feel good, but sometimes, that’s all that you want, although I’ve got to guess there will be a tear jerk here and there.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Exit Wounds

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:57 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Exit Wounds
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Steven Seagal, DMX, Tom Arnold, Anthony Anderson
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Warner Bros.
Release Date: 2001
Kiddie Movie: Leave them at home.
Date Movie: You might want to leave her at home, too.
Gratuitous Sex: Naked ladies in a bar.
Gratuitous Violence: It’s Steven Seagal doing what he does best. Expect a lot.
Action: See “Violence.”
Laughs: Tom Arnold and Anthony Anderson are hilarious.
Memorable Scene: The ending with Henry (Tom Arnold) and T.K. (Anthony Anderson) trading quips on the talk show.
Memorable Quote: Too many during the Henry/T.K. talk show.
Directed By: Andrzej Bartkowiak

Leaving “Exit Wounds” I was happy of one thing – Steven Seagal was back to playing Steven Seagal, kicking ass and taking names. That’s all I wanted to see.

The story, well, do you really care about the story? Alright, I’ll give you the brief run-down. Seagal plays Orin Boyd. He’s a cop with a temper problem and gets relocated to the worse side of town. Along with his reassignment, well, Orin is made to go to anger-management courses where he runs into talk show host Henry (played hysterically by Tom Arnold). As the story goes Orin is doing some investigating and comes across Latrell (DMX). Orin thinks Latrell is bad news and is hell-bent on finding the real story. Kicking ass here, investigating there, and Latrell being a pretty good bad-ass, well, that’s about all you need to know because the story is kinda silly when you think about it.

So I will keep this review short because who really needs to analyze a Steven Seagal movie. “Exit Wounds” gives you what you want, even some really cool gadgetry, and the laughs provided by Tom Arnold and Latrell’s sidekick, T.K., played by Anthony Anderson are more than enough to get you to see a matinee or at least wait till the video hits the store.

As a great movie, “Exit Wounds” probably only warrants one star, but as a Steven Seagal film, it’s
3 ½ stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Elizabethtown

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:03 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Elizabethtown
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Susan Sarandon, Jessica Biel, Alec Baldwin
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 2005
Directed By: Cameron Crowe,

There’s a huge plus for this movie, namely the likes of Cameron Crowe being the Director, and it’s looking like a romantic comedy with a couple of twists.

It seems Drew (Orlando Bloom) made a big mistake at his working gig, his life is falling apart, and the only answer is to end it all. Then, to top it all off, his dad dies and he has to head to his hometown of Elizabethtown. On the way he meets a stewardess, I mean flight attendant, Claire (Kirsten Dunst), and now he has a buddy to vent with, and love ensues.

Claire helps Drew get through his bad times, Drew falls for Claire, and love is in the air.

This looks like a good movie for the both of everyone, and Cameron Crowe is pretty good at making movies that don’t get too sappy for the dudes yet just sappy enough for the dudettes, and this movie is already getting a little buzz for a statue nomination for one of those statue nomination folks.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eight Legged Freaks

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:39 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Eight Legged Freaks
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: David Arquette, Kari Wuhrer
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Release Date: 2002
Directed By: Ellory Elkayem

Alright, spiders are now big and scary and we all hate that. From the preliminary things I’ve read this is supposed to be some kind of spoof of those old time, out of this world, horror movies.

The trailer looks pretty funny, this one looks like it won’t take itself at all seriously, and that’s a good thing for a movie about giant spiders that terrorize a town.

“Arachnophobia” had the world afraid about normal sized spiders, this one is a spoof. It could be good fun or maybe just really crappy. I’m hoping for the former, especially because it’s got Kari Wuhrer.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eastern Promises

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:40 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Eastern Promies
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Naomi Watts
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Focus Features
Release Date: 2007
Directed By: David Bronenberg

The trailer for this film hints at a lot of things going on, from things like maybe the mob over in London, a diary that might have answers to secrets maybe better left not written, and somehow Anna (Naomi Watts) caught in the middle of it all when a teenage girl gives birth and Anna is bent on investigating who the baby-daddy is and that diary is her key, but it’s in Russian, so Anna has to find help in translating it.

This looks to be a movie with tons of suspense, and I like David Cronenberg as a Director (he did “A History of Violence”), so I’m just hoping it makes its way to my local gigaplex since it’s being release on the indier side, Focus Features.

Could be good, could be bad, and part of the rated R-ness is for sexuality and nudity, and hoping it comes in the form of Naomi Watts, but probably not.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Driven

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:56 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Driven
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Burt Reynolds, Kip Pardue, Til Schweiger, Gina Gershon
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Release Date: 2001
Directed By: Renny Harlin

No, you’re not seeing things. That is Sylvester Stallone in that racing helmet. I know, I didn’t believe it either, and when I heard he was going to be doing a race car movie I figured there wouldn’t be much that would make me want to see the film, and then I read two words – Gina Gershon. No matter what the movie it can’t be that bad as long as she’s in it, and hopefully it will be rated R and she gets naked.

Anyway, the story looks like your typical race car story: New guy comes on the scene and learns from the old guy how to be truly great. Toss in a love story or a dude stealing another dude’s girl and you’ve got “explosive action mixed with compelling drama.” Blah, blah, blah.

The racing scenes in the trailer do look pretty kick-ass as I’m sure things have progressed a lot camera-wise since “Days of Thunder,” and even though it’s written by Stallone, I keep reminding myself that he did write “Rocky.”

Sometimes Stallone is fabulous (“Rocky,” “Cop Land”), sometimes not so fabulous (too many to list), so it’s a toss-up on the excitement to see this film. But, there is the Gina Gershon factor so you can rest assured I’ll see it anyway.

The Day After Tomorrow

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:04 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

The Day After Tomorrow
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Sela Ward, Arjay Smith, Tamlyn Tomita, Austin Nichols
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2004
Directed By: Roland Emmerich

Alright, so all hell breaks lose at one time because of global warming. I want some scientific proof that this is possible. Anyway, we see tornadoes where there usually aren’t tornadoes, earthquakes happening with no warning, floods, and a giant glacier seems to be attacking New York City (wasn’t anyone aware of this thing coming when we didn’t hear from anyone in Canada?). Lots of people are running, screaming, trying to get the hell out of town, and we can assume someone has to try to get into the city where all hell if breaking loose to rescue a loved one.

There does seem to be a lot of action involved, but it might be a little tough getting through the plausibility of it all. We’ll see.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!