The Final Two for American Idol should be Sanjaya and Melinda.

By:

The Dude on the Right

So Howard Stern’s crack news staff, or at least Steve Langford, is hell bent on
finding out the truth if the folks in charge of "American Idol" pretty much send
home who they want to, thus meaning all of those votes you cast don’t really
mean much.  I’m still sticking with my conspiracy theory of Sanjaya getting
booted off the week before their big charity show, and I still find it odd that
they don’t actually tell us who got how many votes.

Conspiracies aside, I’m
really happy this season is almost over because I really don’t care if any of
them win.  I suppose, for shear comic value, we should get on the Blake
bandwagon, but according to the Howard 100 News, and Mr. Langford’s sources
Blake is already set to be sent home this week.  We’ll see how the voting
pans out, but in any case here’s what I thought about
tonight’s singing.

First the songs the judges picked for the final three…

Jordin (from Simon): Sings "Wishing on a Star."  Horrible outfit –
it looks like she’s wearing a bra and a slip.  Singing was okay, but it
should be by this point.  Ehh.

Blake (from Paula): Sings
"Roxanne."  Nice vest.  I actually thought he did a good job with the
song, and so glad he didn’t screw it up with his beat-boxing crap he has been
doing in previous shows.  The problem is he’s not Sting.

Melinda (from
Randy):
Sings "I Believe in You and Me." She’s really close to being the
entire package except for, and I hate to say this, but only some superficial
things.  She still needs to stop showing her upper gums, needs a little
dental work to close the front gap in her teeth, and she’s done a good job with
her weight so far, just needs to drop a couple more pounds.  Her singing
kicks ass, now it’s only superficiality for me.

Now the songs the producers
picked for them…

Jordin: Sings "She Works Hard for the Money." I
think I just figured out Jordin’s problem – she can’t work the audience. 
She sings fine enough, but when she tries to "perform" it looks like she is
trying too hard and just doesn’t connect.

Blake: Sings "This Love." He
was doing really well until he went back to the beat-box thing.  Maybe the
little girls like it and think it’s funny, and I know it tries to help him from
just doing a cover version, but I hate it.  Get rid of the beat-boxing crap
and he was great, and a better performer than Jordin.

Melinda: Sings "Nutbush
City Limits."  She rocked out, did great, and she should win, although she
needed to lose the mike stand and just roam the stage with the microphone.

And
now the songs the top three picked for themselves…

Jordin: Sings "I
(Who Have Nothing)."  She creaked a bit on a couple of notes.  It’s a
powerful song, and she didn’t sell it by staying in the middle of the stage and
not working the crowd.

Blake: Sings "When I Get You Alone."  It’s
too bad the fact that as a performer he is probably the best of the three, and
stop it with the beat box.  I didn’t like the beginning of the song, I grew
into it as the song went on, but since I hate his beat box shtick I lost it at
the end.

Melinda: Sings "I’m a Woman." She shows exactly why she should
win, even if she isn’t the pop-idol mold.

Much like I believed Yau-Man should
have been the winner on "Survivor," but thanks to Dreamz who totally didn’t
think of the big picture of life after "Survivor" and screwed Yau over, for
"American Idol" everyone thinks Melinda has this season in her hip pocket. 
Since I’m not surprised Sanjaya was booted the week before the charity show I
wouldn’t be surprised if Jordin or Blake actually win.  I love
conspiracies.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

What’s New? A Podcast of: Paris and Jail, The Hoff in Trouble, and May is a Sad Month.

For this podcast The Dude on the Right ponders the trouble of many celebrities in these last couple of weeks, namely Paris Hilton, David Hasselhoff, and Alec Baldwin. He is also in mourning since it is May and most of his TV shows will be wrapping up in the next couple of weeks, namely “American Idol,” “Survivor,” and “The Sopranos,” although he can’t believe he forgot to talk about Julianne Hough and not being able to find her naked.

Barry Gibb & The Bee Gees on Idol or Julianne Hough on Dancing.

By:

The Dude on the Right

Oh my God.  Tonight it’s the music of Barry Gibb and The Bee Gees.

I
guess the American Idol people want to try to throw another monkey-wrench into
the show by picking music only the parents will know and most every kid will
have no idea of the songs.  Me, I’ll admit I’ve always liked the Bee Gees,
but damn, maybe American Idol needs to quit doing these "music of…" shows and
just let the singers pick songs from week to week.  Maybe we don’t need the
"star" coaching and just need to see some real music coaches, or maybe some
weeks where Simon, Paula, and Randy actually "coach" the contestants, especially
towards the end of the competition.

Anyway, here’s what I thought about
tonight’s singing.

Melinda (1): Sings "Love You Inside and Out." 
Nothing to say about her anymore.  She knows how to bring it every week,
and although Simon didn’t seem to like it that much, umm, , and pardon my
French, but it’s the fuckin’ Bee Gee’s night – What the hell is she supposed to
do?  In the words of my buddy Stu Gotz, ’nuff said.

Blake (1):
Sings "You Should be Dancin’."  Barry thinks Blake’s "beat-boxing" is an
ability.  Blake just epitomized why sometimes it was great the Chicago
radio dude Steve Dahl held "Disco Demolition" many years ago.  What the
hell was that mess?

LeKisha (1): Sings "Stayin’ Alive."  Just bad.

Jordin (1): Sings "To Love Somebody." Barry loved her, and I think,
depending on her next song, this might have just bounced her back into the
competition.  Did nice version of the song and performed it well.


Melinda (2):
Sings "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart."  She’d rather be
wet than be a loser?  She sings well and performs well, but there isn’t
much you can do with this song.  She tried to "soul it up," and that added
a different dimension to the song, but we already know that about her.


Blake (2):
Sings "This is Where I Came In." Good, Blake, sing a song that
both the kids and the parents don’t know, and screw it up by "beat-boxing" it,
and he did.  It sounded like a Boy George throw-back, and not a good one at
that.

LeKisha (2): Sings "Run to Me." Barry does give her good advice,
to kick it up earlier, and she listens.  She still sings with a slight lisp
at times, missed a note or two, and is looking better except for the gap in her
teeth which she can’t do anything about until after the show ends, but this song
was a better choice although not great.

Jordin (2): Sings "I Am A Woman
in Love." Barry loved her again, but she needed to "hip" it up just a tad
because why do we want to really hear a Barbara Streisand cover on American Idol
in 2007?  Even so, her songs this week might keep her alive for another
week.

As much as I like The Bee Gees and Barry Gibb, I still question having
this be a theme for the week.  All they are doing now is torturing the
contestants into trying to find songs they don’t know, and don’t know how to
sing, although I did get a laugh when even Barry Gibb made fun of his singing.

I’ve got to wrap up this blog about the American Idol singing because, and I
hate to say this, I don’t really care about the contestants anymore.  I’ve
got to switch TV channels to see who gets booted off  of "Dancing With the
Stars."  All I know is it better not be Apolo Anton Ohno dancing with the
new love of my life, Julianne Hough.  She’s hot.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Who Knew Bon Jovi Songs Were So Complicated to Sing?

By:

The Dude on the Right

Bon Jovi is in the house, Dog!

I’ve always been a Bon Jovi fan, and as many a
time I’ve attempted to sing his songs, well, my voice can’t seem to do the stuff
his voice does, and after watching tonight’s "American Idol," neither can most
of our contestants.  I will give Jon Bon Jovi his credit, trying his best
to coach our would-be singers and some of them really took his advice, while
some of them, whether they would take his advice or not, still couldn’t pull off
singing Bon Jovi songs.

Anyway, all of the Idol singers were safe last week
because American Idol became lame by not voting anyone off because it was their
big "philanthropy" week, so Wednesday boots off two people.  For what it’s
worth the American Idol folks should just go ahead and kick off five people and
leave us with Melinda for the rest of the season.  She seems to be the only
one who really seem to know how to work it.

Here’s my take on this week’s
singing…

Phil: Sings "Blaze of Glory." Sang the song okay, but just
looks to be "acting" the song too much, with the gritty, pissed-off face and
all.  Overly emotional and still has a horrible look with the bald look.

Jordin: Sings "Livin’ on a Prayer." Looks like she wanted to pay tribute
to Gina with the red streaks in her hair.  Song wise it was okay, but she’s
not working the stage like a rocker needs to.  Her mom might have had her
listening to Bon Jovi, but she sure didn’t translate the performance aspect into
her act.  She picked the wrong song.

LeKisha: Sings "This Ain’t a
Love Song." A good song choice for her, but she just seemed to be off the beat
for the beginning.  Her outfit was bad, and she didn’t sing with nearly the
passion Jon Bon Jovi did for the Bon Jovi version until the very end of the
song.  It must have sounded a hell of a lot better live because the judges
loved it, but for me it, well, it wasn’t that good.

Blake: Sings "You
Give Love a Bad Name." I know he’s trying to be original and all, but what, are
we back in the era of bad break dancing?  He couldn’t sing the song, his
antics blew, and maybe I’m just too old, or too big a Bon Jovi fan, but I did
not like this at all.  Randy thought it was hot, but what, for the ’80’s?

Chris: Sings "Wanted Dead or Alive." Of everyone, Chris seemed, so far,
to get the "Bon Jovi" theme.  His singing wasn’t the greatest, my only
complaint is he didn’t work the crowd as much as he probably should have.


Melinda:
Sings "Have a Nice Day." Jon told her exactly what to do with the
song, and Melinda did it perfectly.  She pretty much wrapped up this
competition with being able to take Bon Jovi’s rocking into a soul attitude. 
She was fantastic.

For me you might as well kick out everyone but Melinda. 
It looks like she’s lost some weight, she still sings great, and she seems to
get the attitude of every genre.  As far as the "American Idol," the show,
I am this close to calling it quits for them, especially with their
self-righteous "We’re now a charity" thing last week, and now trotting out a
pre-recorded speech from President Bush and Laura Bush about how great it was
they raised so much money to help starving people.

Enough already. 
"American Idol," you are a god damn singing competition, making a shitload of
money.  Quit with the politics and do-gooding, and just give us a singer we
can like.

I’ll step off my soap-box now, and say Melinda should be the winner. 
And I’ll also say that Ryan Seacrest you are no Don Johnson – Shave the
"7-day" facial hair.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

What’s New? A Podcast of: Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up! Lame Movies, A Lame Weekend, and a Blower at a Ballgame.

For this podcast of “Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up!”, The Dude on the Right had a pretty boring weekend while Stu Gotz, and Mama Gotz, witnessed a blower at a ballgame. Stu and The Dude also talk about the lame box office this past weekend with “Spider-Man 3” coming up next week, and they both liked “Idiocracy” that Stu watched thanks to Netflix.
They also talk “Sopranos,” “Heroes,” and The Dude gives his take on what went wrong with this season’s “American Idol.”

What’s New? A Podcast of: “American Idol” Conspiracy Theories, Writing Can Get You Jailed, and Bobby “Boris” Pickett is Dead.

For this podcast The Dude on the Right is still trying to further develop his “American Idol” conspiracy theories, especially with the “mysterious” booting of Sanjaya one week before the “Idol Gives Back” broadcast. He’s also worried about how creative writing now might get you arrested, and is saddened by the passing of Bobby “Boris” Pickett. Long live Bobby “Boris” Pickett.

Dear American Idol, at Least Sally Struthers Sent Me a Picture of Who I Was Helping.

By:

The Dude on the Right

"American Idol" gets all self-righteous this week because now they want you to
vote because your votes will click into donations to "Idol Gives Back."  We
get a bunch of "tear-jerking" of how things suck outside of the United States,
how things suck inside the United States, how, like those old Sally Struthers’
commercials, it only "costs less than $.50 a day to feed a child," and I hate to
sound soul-less, but Sanjaya is gone, I already have the charities I give my
money to, and don’t really care about any of the singers that are left, but
here’s my take on their performances anyway:

Chris: Sings "Change the
World" by Eric Clapton.  Did okay but the song is boring, except for this
being "charity" week so of course it fits.

Melinda: Sings "There Will
Come a Day" by Faith Hill.  I still think she has been losing weight (good
for her), now needs some slight dental work, but more importantly did a great
job with her singing, and performing.

Blake: Sings "Imagine" by John Lennon.  First thought – You
should never sing "Imagine" unless you are John Lennon.  Second thought –
You should never sing "Imagine" unless you are John Lennon.  Simon saw
sincerity in the performance.  He might have had sincerity, but Blake
didn’t seem to portray emotion.

LeKisha: Sings "I Believe" by
Fantasia.  Why do they keep "squishing" her into these dresses, especially
her bust-line?  She almost seems to be trying too hard in her singing.

Phil: Sings "The Change" by Garth Brooks.  Sticking with the country
side since he can this week, but man, I loved Garth’s version while am cringing
while Phil sings the song.  It must have sounded a hell of a lot better in
the studio than it did on TV because the judges seemed to have liked it.


Jordin:
Sings "You’ll Never Walk Alone."  I hate to say this, but as
inspirational as this song is supposed to sound, on my TV she didn’t sound
uplifting, but rather depressing.

I honestly have to say this might be my last
"American Idol" synopsis because I can’t take their "we are better than the
world" attitude anymore.  The reason for this comes from some of Ryan
Seacrest’s final lines in the show, namely "This might be the most important
call you’ll ever make." and "You are saving your favorite, and you are saving
lives."  I could vote to save a life, but is "American Idol" going to send
me a photo of the child I’m "feeding" in a far-off land?  I don’t think so.
I also don’t have a favorite so sadly it seems all of my 300 or some odd votes
that I cast for Sanjaya, while I was on the "Vote for Sanjaya" bandwagon and
hypnotized by The Howard Stern Movement, aren’t going to feed anyone.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

What’s New? A Podcast of: Why Watch “American Idol” or “Dancing With the Stars” Any More?

For this podcast The Dude on the Right laments about his having no desire to watch “American Idol” anymore since Sanjaya has been booted. It also seems the producers of the show have left themselves an “out” to “eliminate” any contestant because of “power dialing.” Sadly Howard Stern and the dialidol site may have given the producers their “reason” to toss out some of Sanjaya’s votes. He’s also sick of “Dancing With the Stars,” or at least the “Heather Mills is an amputee story. He’s now only watching for Julianne Hough and Edyta Sliwinska.

I’m In Love With Martina McBride, But I’m Voting for Sanjaya!

By:

The Dude on the Right

It’s country night this week, with Martina McBride being the coach/mentor. 
I will assume many of the contestants had no idea who she was, but I’ve always
found her fabulously hot, especially with her gorgeous blue eyes and with the
longer hair she was sporting for this week’s show.  Martina really seemed
to be trying to help the contestants, which probably goes along with her country
roots, and for a change, most of them seemed to listen to what she had to say. 
As it goes, here’s my wrap-up:

Phil: Sings "Where The Blacktop Ends." 
All I could think is that if he wore a cowboy hat, or what is even more popular
now for country dudes, a baseball cap, I would maybe stop thinking about his
bald head.  He performed well enough that this might keep him around for
another week.  Country might be his niche.

Jordin: Sings "Broken
Wing."  Did a nice version of the song, but crackled here and there. 
I hate being superficial with her, but she could still afford to lose a pound or
two because her voice kicks butt.  She listened to Martina’s advice to just
sing the song, and did a good job.

Sanjaya: Sings "Let’s Give Them
Something to Talk About."  Nice bandana and hair!  He’s back to being
the Sanjaya we know and love, one that can’t sing and is just trying to be
quirky.  If he’s not in the bottom three we know the Sanjaya movement is in
full force!  Vote for Sanjaya!

LeKisha: Sings "Jesus, Take the
Wheel."  Yup, it’s the Carrie Underwood song.  Finally an outfit that
works great for her, and she really seemed to get the Carrie Underwood/country
vibe.  Of all of the times I have seen her, this was the most I have ever
liked her, except for one thing she can’t fix yet, and that’s the gap between
her front teeth.  Maybe this one sounded better on TV than in the studio
because I actually liked her this week.

Chris: Sings "Mayberry." 
Throw a baseball cap on this dude and Kenny Chesney might have something to
worry about.  Why have the dudes suddenly become country singers?


Melinda:
Sings "Trouble is a Woman."  She knows how to "bring it," but
her top was iffy on the outfit side.  She brought the sass, she sang fine,
and just did a great job.  Paula is dancing, so maybe that’s a good sign
for Melinda.  Simon even liked it, and gave some other great advice about
stopping being so humble.

Blake: Sings "When the Stars Go Blue." 
Other than the sweater, and his seeming to miss the falsetto moments, and
missing other notes, we found out he couldn’t "sing" the song okay, but
"performed" it nicely.  From the judges comments I guess it sounded a hell
of a lot better live because I thought he sounded lousy.

And in wrapping up
this week’s synopsis I don’t think Simon, Paula, nor Randy understand this era
of country, nor did they ever really like most any country movement.  The
country week for this group makes the voting a total toss-up.  Phil sang
well but needed a hat; Jordin has a lot of potential – just don’t go bulimic;
Sanjaya, is, well, Sanjaya; I thought LeKisha was great but needs better teeth;
Chris just needed a baseball cap; Melinda, well, she did the best; and Blake was
a performer, not a singer tonight.

Since Gina is gone I only have one person
to vote for now, and you probably know who that is.  Since I can’t vote for
Martina McBride, I’m voting for Sanjaya!!!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

What’s New? A Podcast of: The Don Imus School of What Not to Do, “The Sopranos,” and Sanjaya is Still Safe!

The Dude on the Right returns for this podcast thinking Don Imus might actually be remembered in the annals of radio teaching of what not to do when you put your foot in your mouth, rather than for his radio career. He also wasn’t that pleased with the return of “The Sopranos,” and although sad to see Haley on “American Idol” go, The Dude is happy Sanjaya is still around, mostly, according to him, because of his campaigning, and not that of Howard Stern nor the Vote for the Worst folks. The Dude on the Right is also sometimes delusional.