The Bachelor

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:38 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

The Bachelor
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Chris O’Donnell, Renee Zellweger, Artie Lange
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: New Line Cinema
Kiddie Movie: They’d be bored.
Date Movie: She might make you got and then she’ll hate it.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Gary Sinyor

“The Bachelor” had a pretty cool premise. Chris O’Donnell plays Jimmy. He finds out that in order to get his grandfather’s inheritance, as well as save the pool table factory, he has to get married by his 30th birthday. The problem is that his 30th birthday is about 30 hours away and he’s totally screwed up his relationship with the girl he wants to but isn’t ready to marry, Anne (Renee Zellweger). Since he thinks she’s out of the picture on a trip out of the country he goes on a quest tracking down all of his old girlfriends to make them his bride. I wanted the movie to be funny, even though as a romantic comedy you know exactly where this movie would end up, but there was just something missing. Maybe I just couldn’t fathom how Jimmy could find all of his old girlfriends in the 30 hour span, maybe I just didn’t understand why he couldn’t want to initially marry Anne (sorry, but if I was dating her there would be no hesitation in my face to marry her), maybe the jokes were pretty lame, or maybe I’m just becoming a bitter, single, wondering were my future wife is thirty-something dude. I don’t know, but I was just let down.

Alright, let’s fill in some story blanks. Jimmy and Anne have been together about 3 years. Like I said before, Jimmy’s grandfather dies and leaves the stipulation in the will that to get the 100 millionish dollars Jimmy would have to fulfill some conditions (I did like the “What is this, ‘Bruester’s Millions?'” line), like staying married for 10 years and having a kid within 5. It should be simple except that Jimmy already botched asking Anne to marry him so she is questioning the relationship and is supposedly on her way out of the country. So, Jimmy searches for his old girlfriends (could you find 8 of your old girlfriends in a 30 hour span? He did.), and they all turn him down, mostly through his own bumbling of explaining what was going on. Hmm, I’m thinking for 50 million dollars (figuring I’d get half), hell, I’ll marry him. Anyway, it turns out Anne didn’t go overseas, just with her sister to their parents anniversary dinner, and she realized she really loves him and is on her way back to find him (she doesn’t know about the money). Well, low and behold they find each other (she finds out about the money but realizes he really wants to marry her), and it’s a happy ending.

I don’t know, I’m thinking the movie could have been funnier if Jimmy didn’t have a girlfriend and had 30 hours to find Miss Right because then you could have been routing for a certain girl instead of knowing the ending. The things women would do to win him over could have been hilarious, the running from crazed dudettes could have been more real, and it still could have had a storybook ending.

In the end I was disappointed and with that “The Bachelor” get 1 ½ stars out of 5 from me. I love a good romantic comedy, this just wasn’t one of them.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!